I need a second job. Shit, I need a fifth job. Somebody told me the other day that I would be a great movie critic, blahzay blahzay catfish yap yap yap ralph nader. I admit I wasn't really listening until he said that occasionally movie critics get paid. That part I remember. Sounds great!! But where would I start?? I don't have a journalism degree.......or even a goddamn botany degree for that matter. No respectable publication would ever hire me without any experience no matter how good I write, unless it's not a respectable publication, in which case I'm not comfortable goin' back into THAT line of work. So I asked a friend of mine who is an actual journalist with a degree and experience and a job to give me some advice on where to start. He told me to start a blog. I called him a homo (no homo). I told him blogs were for soccer moms and serial lames. But then he explained that if I started a blog, I could write reviews and use that to show any newspaper or magazine that was dumb enough to ever consider hiring me to their staff.
So here we are.............Dirty Ass Aisles, my new blog named after the lovely health hazards they call movie theaters on the southside of Austin Texas. Here I will review as many new movies as I can afford to, but mostly just great movies from all genres and time periods that I love and think everyone should check out because I said so.
In conclusion, I already feel like a febreeze-scented soccer mom for creating a blog in the first place, but many people said that they would love to read a movie blog if I ever made one, so if I don't have at least 12 comments on this intro post by noon this sunday, I'm gonna pull a Yakuza-move and cut off my pinky in shame. Thank you.
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